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Part 17: “I don’t want a man in my life…”

“Don’t be silly, Andy. I already told you, I don’t want a man in my life, besides he is a client.”

“The heart wants what it wants, Trisha.”

Trisha rolled her eyes. “Are you a poet now?” She shook her head. “Meghan is lucky to have you. There is never a dull moment with you.”

“Yes, she is very lucky to have me as her husband.” He nodded his head.  “Don’t worry about Sid being a client. Let’s call it networking.” He winked at her and gave her a grin. “Trisha please, you really should try to relax.  Go with the flow, loosen up a little. You know what, I am going to make us both a cup of tea and leave you to your thoughts.” He smiled from ear to ear and walked to the small kitchen which was in the back of the office.

He is a client

“He is a client, Andy! You asked me to handle this account, remember?”

A few minutes later, Andy came back with two cups of tea and gazed at Trisha. “Are you ok Trisha? You look kind of pale. Or is this a new make-up look, you are going for? 

 “I don´t feel very well, all of a sudden, it will pass.” She took the mug from her desk and wrapped her hands around it. “Aaah, that feels much better.”

“Are you sure? It seems like the brown is fading away from your face. That can´t be a good sign and I’m no doctor.  I think you are  getting sick.” Andy shook his head. “Take the rest of the day off. As your boss, I don’t want to hear no for an answer.”

Trisha sat down on her comfy couch and wrapped a blanket around her.  She had made herself  a steaming mug of hot tea and changed into a comfortable pink jogging suit.

Message

Trisha closed her eyes,  holding the mug in both her hands. “You have to come to terms with your divorce. It has been two years now. The time to torture yourself is over! Andy is right! Only you can make yourself happy!” It was her inner voice, repeating the same things she already knew.

Maybe they were right. Maybe she should go out more. “Of course they are right” said her inner voice. “You are turning into a hermit.”

Her attention was drawn to the high ceiling window. A group of school girls were passing by. From her first floor apartment she had a good view of the street. The girls were laughing and staring at a mobile, which one of the girls was holding in her hand. Trisha kept watching the girls till she couldn’t see them anymore. She took the bowl of potato chips from the coffee table and started munching on them.  She picked up the remote and turned the television on and decided on binge watching “The Crown” on Netflix.

In the middle of episode four, her phone beeped. She looked annoyed at the intruder of her peace, cursing herself that she should have switched her phone off.

It was a text message. Assuming that it was Andy’s, she picked up her phone. Her heart skipped a beat. It was a message from ‘Mr. Eye Candy’.  Trisha smiled at her screen and read the message over and over again.

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Part 16: “I Want to be Alone…”

“A salsa class for singles! Are you out of your mind! That is so not Trisha! But maybe I could take up a hobby, like crochet or something like that.”

“Promise me to take up a hobby where you get to meet other people, you know like human beings.”

Trisha nodded her head. “I don’t want to be with human beings, I want to be alone. But I guess you are right.”

“Or should I get you a Tinder account?”

“Don’t you dare! I am not thinking about dating or men!”

“All jokes aside Trisha. Take control of your life. You know what they say. “You can’t have a rainbow without rain. It is just something to think about. Sort out your thoughts.  Try to make yourself happy. Only you can make yourself happy, Trisha.”

Trisha felt her eyes welling up. She swallowed trying to get rid of the lump she felt in her throat.  “Thank you. You’re the best boss. I am glad we had this conversation.”

“That is very nice of you to say, compliment accepted’’ Andy said with a huge smile.

“I am going to make some tea, want some?”

“No, thank you. I am sticking to my Mrs. Detox drink, don’t want to upset her.” He lifted his bottle to take another sip.

Trisha was waiting for her tea to be infused when Andy peeked around the corner “Sid from Sid data is on the line. Should I tell him to call back?”

Trisha started to smile. “No, no… I can take the call. It is very hard to get a hold of him.”

Andy raised his eyebrows and went back to his desk. He observed Trisha as she picked up the phone.

“Good Morning Sid, this is Trisha speaking.”

“Hi Trisha, how are you doing.”

Trisha felt as if her heart were to jump out of her body any minute now. “I am doing fine, hope you are doing well?”

“Yes, thank you. I was wondering if you heard from the candidate you were talking about last Friday?”

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Part 15: “Why do people cheat?”

“Only If you want too.”

“I don’t want to burden you with my heartache.”

“Well go on,  I am listening.”

“I have my moments, my ups and downs. Sometimes I feel well or ok and  sometimes I am just depressed. It drives me crazy, Andy. There are times that I just know that I am losing it.  You know what annoys me the most.  Everyone around me is telling me to go out and have a social life. To pick up my life and  start dating. I should prove Karan what a scumbag he has been and what he is missing out on.” She paused and looked outside.  “I know they mean well, but why should I prove that piece of, well you know what I wanted to say.  Deep down I know that I should move on. I see women around me who are divorced and live a happy live. What is wrong with me?

Heart

It still feels like my heart is cut into pieces. I am waiting for my heart to heal. Will it heal ever?  Why do people cheat? This all frustrates me so much since I know there are no answers to these questions and I do know that I am tormenting myself.”

Trisha pouted her mouth and moved her lips.  “My friends and family keep telling me that it has been two years already. That I should get over it, since he is getting on with his life. But I don’t care about him, I care about me.”

Andy listened to Trisha and was silent for a few moments. “Do you want to heal, Trisha? To me it seems that you are stuck in feeling sorry for yourself and you don’t know how to let go of that feeling. Life is never easy and you cannot compare your life to others. You are Trisha, a unique person. ”I think that you have to sort your feelings out, maybe talk to a therapist?”

Therapy

“I considered going into therapy, but I was hoping to fix things myself.”

Andy nodded his head. “Sometimes we must set our ego aside and do what we know is good for us.”

“I know. I keep telling myself that.”

“Have you considered taking up a hobby? Take it step by step, don’t overdo it. Go to the gym. Maybe even a sewing classes or a baking class. No strings attached type of activities. You don’t need to talk with these people, if you don’t want to.” He continued in a naughty voice “And if you really want to be bold…you should take a salsa class for singles.”

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Part 9: Are you seeing someone else?

Trisha’s mind wondered of to that dreadful day. The day her world fell apart.

It was seven o’clock in the evening when Karan had come home. He seemed to be distracted and distanced himself from her. For the last couple of weeks Trisha had noticed that Karan´s behaviour was quite odd.

She knew that he had been quite busy at work lately and assumed that his behaviour was  due to his work. Trisha had been taking extra care of Karan since she thought that he was on the edge of getting a burn out. She had seen strong men going into a burn out, therefor she was being careful.

Worried

During dinner Trisha tried to force a conversation since she could not handle the awkward silence between them. In the past they had talked and laughed while having dinner but this had changed gradually over the last couple of weeks. She sensed that something was not right, but couldn´t put her finger on  it? Was it work or something else. She studied Karan´s face  and noticed the distracted look. It seemed like his mind was somewhere else.

“Is everything ok, at work Karan?  I mean, is there something on your mind? I am worried about you.”

“Yes, everything is ok at work.”  He sighed and pushed his plate away.

Trisha nodded and stood up to clear the table. While she was loading the dishes in the dishwasher she couldn’t stop thinking about his strange behaviour.  “Would you like some chocolate cake for desert? We have some left.”

“Pff, can’t you leave me alone.” Karan snapped at her.

Trisha continued to load the dishwasher wondering what was going on with Karan. “You know you have been acting weird the last couple of weeks.” She shut the dishwasher and turned it on.  “If I didn’t know you better, I would be thinking that you were seeing someone else,” she said laughing. “But I know that you are quite busy at work.”

Alarm Bells

Karan didn’t answer her. Trisha felt the room getting cold.  Karan still didn’t say a word. She dried her hands and slowly turned around. All the alarm bells in her body went off.  She looked at him but he didn’t look back at her, he avoided her gaze. Why wasn’t he telling her that this was not the case? That it was just work that made him cranky. That he was on the edge of a burn out and she had noticed it for which he was grateful.  That he was happy to have her as his wife. That she made him happy. That he appreciated the way she took care of him. But instead he remained silent.

Her throat felt dry. “You are seeing someone else, aren’t you?” Trisha forced the words out of her mouth. At the same time trying to be calm while her legs felt wobbly. She held on to the kitchen counter, afraid that she would tumble.  Instantly her stomach started to ache. Karan is cheating on you, Trisha, she said to herself.

“Yes” said Karan in a soft voice, still avoiding her gaze.

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Part 5: Clumsy Trisha making a fool of herself

“So, as I was saying last week, I am looking for a Junior Software Tester, with or without experience. We really need one as quick as possible since we have taken on some interesting projects.”

Trisha nodded her head “That is wonderful news, could you please tell me more about your company, Sid?” You sound like a schoolteacher, Trisha, said her inner voice.

Sid took a small sip from his espresso. “I founded this company while I was still in college to earn some  extra money in order to pay for my college fees. My company was flourishing and I could just not combine college and work. It was hard keeping all the balls in the air, I hardly slept or ate, the only thing I was doing was working. I then realized that I had to make a decision. What was more important to me. A college degree or expanding my flourishing company. I choose for the latter.

College dropout

My parents were not happy with my decision of course and from their point of view I could understand them. They just couldn’t understand my decision since it was just one more year for my graduation. But I stood my ground and devoted all my energy  into my company. Things started to go really fast when I got a big client onboard. They are still one of our clients, not the biggest one though”.

Then Sid continued in a serious tone “you know at times my dad is still saying that I am a college drop out. When the going gets tough, a degree comes in handy, son.  You know how Indian parents are, degrees are everything for them.”

Trisha nodded. She knew pretty well how Indian parents were. She had seen and experienced a fair share of drama herself.

“Mr. Eye Candy” opens up

“How many people work for you, Sid?” Trisha tried her best to say it in a casual way while looking “Mr. Eye Candy” in his eyes. Her heart started to pound again. She had never felt like this before, never. Not even with Karan her ex-husband. Remember he is a client, Trisha, what are you thinking? She said to herself.

“Fifteen people” he said thoughtful. “Sometimes I sit behind my desk and look at my staff and think, this is so surreal. Fifteen people are working for me. But at the same time, I have fifteen mouths to feed. It sometimes scares me. “

Sid took another sip from his coffee. “I have no idea why I am telling you all this.” He frowned, “can you please keep it to yourself?”

Trisha smiled. “Of course, your secret is safe with me.” You sound like a school teacher Trisha, you are trying too hard, said her inner voice.

“So can you get me someone? I have spoken to several agencies and neither of them could help me out.”

Trisha took a sip from her drink and accidentally knocked over her glass. She looked embarrassed at “Mr. Eye Candy”. You are making a fool of yourself, don’t you think so Trisha?

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Part 03: Mr. Eye Candy

A few minutes later the girl came back. “Mr. Bal will be here in five minutes.”

Trisha nodded “Thank you.”

“You know this job is so boring. I am just here so I can save for my Ibiza holiday. Have you ever been to Ibiza?” Then she tilted her head and frowned. “I really need to learn how to walk on heels like those. I would absolutely look gorgeous in my golden bikini and those heels.” Her eyes wandered off dreamy. “Well,  I better get to work.” The girl walked slowly to her desk while staring at the screen of her phone.

Trisha chuckled inwardly, who had hired her? Then her heart skipped a beat. She just realized that she had not looked up Sid Bal on the internet. Andy used to handle this account, but due to personal circumstances he had  asked Trisha to take over the account last Friday. And had given her a thorough briefing of the account.  

“Mr. IT”

She had been planning to dive into it  during the weekend but it had totally slipped her mind. “Trisha” she said in a firm voice to herself “how could you be so stupid!” She could do it now, and reached for her phone in her purse when she heard a man’s voice calling  her name.

 “Trisha.”

Mr. Eye Candy

Trisha looked up and looked straight into the most beautiful brown eyes of a gorgeous tall man with a stumble beard. Had he just showered with perfume? He smelled divine, sweet yet masculine. She couldn’t utter a word.  Her friends would  have described this man as ‘Mr. Eye Candy’.  She quickly pulled herself back together, put her phone in her purse and stood up. Trisha felt as if her heart had stopped beating.

She pulled herself together and stood up. “Hi, I am Trisha Gandhi” she said calm  and as professional she could, stretching her baby pink manicured hands towards Sid.

“Sid Bal” he said in a calm voice. “Thank you for waiting Trisha. Are you familiar with days where everything seems to be going wrong?”

Trisha nodded since she felt choked up. His voice was gentle and manly and maybe even a bit arrogant. Did she just give away that she was mesmerized by him?

“Yes, I do,” her voice was professional. She was surprised that this man she just met for a few ‘nano’ minutes just swept her from her feet. This was something she believed would never happen again, since her heart was deeply scarred.

“Well this is one of those days! Do you mind if we have the meeting somewhere else?  I really could use a break.” Sid was searching for something in the pockets of his pants.

“Sure,” Trisha was glad that she was able to speak again.

“I will be back in a minute. I need to get my phone.”

Coffee

Trisha watched as Sid took the stairs upstairs. What had just happened to her? Who was this man who just  had swept her from her feet? Why did she allow him to do so? She scraped her throat softly and swallowed. “He is a client, Trisha. Behave yourself.” Trisha opened her purse and searched for her pocket mirror. She had to make sure she looked presentable. How could such an attractive man work in the IT business? Her image of Sid had been of someone with goofy glasses and no sense of fashion. Not that of a physically attractive man who just whooped her from her feet. He was the kind of man who could get any woman he wanted. Trisha pressed her lips together and tried to stand as confident as possible on her beautiful nude coloured high heels.  “Why didn’t I look him up?” Trisha shook her head. 

“Thanks for waiting again. There is a coffee shop right across the street. The barista does an excellent job.”

“That sounds good to me”. Did he notice that this was not a courtesy smile, but a smile of pure joy? How could she have a business meeting with this man? She couldn’t even think straight!

Snippet of my book “Chai and Marigolds”

Hello readers,

In my previous post I was telling you about the book I wrote, “Chai and Marigolds”. I would like to share a snippet of my book. Happy reading!

A writer only begins a book.


The Past – Thirteen years ago

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon when Rani was sipping tea with her parents in the living room. Her father read the newspaper; Rani and her mother were watching TV.

“You know Rani,” said her mother. “When I was your age, I was already married.”

Rani laughed. She looked at her mother and replied, “Yes mummy. I know.” She took another sip from her cup of tea. “You have told me many times.”

Her mother looked up at the ceiling and then referred to her husband, “Hai Bhagwan (Ooh God), what will happen to this girl?”

Rani was glad when the phone’s ring interrupted as she hoped it would distract her mother. Rani’s mother got up to answer the phone. “Everything in this house, I have to do. What will happen when I die one day?” she said dramatically. Rani and her father looked at each other and burst out in laughter. When her mother picked up the phone, Rani heard a voice shouting on the other line.  Rani giggled. Shouting was a habit many Indians had when calling from abroad. “It is for you,” said Rani’s mother to her husband. “It is Ram from London.”

Ram was her father’s old school friend. Once in a while, he called, but whenever he was in India, he always visited. He would also call in advance requesting Rani’s mother to make gulab jamuns (Indian donuts) because according to him, they were the best gulab jamuns.

“Namaste Ram,” Rani’s father saluted. “How have you been? I was going to call you one of these days. What a coincidence,” he teased.

“I am doing fine, Sandeep,” said Ram. “We are all busy with everyday life that sometimes we just don’t seem to be able to pick up the phone. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, you are right. Now we have grown old with more responsibilities,” reminisced Rani’s father. “Those times of running around in the fields are gone. Can you remember?” For a moment, Rani’s father saw himself running with Ram through the mustard fields as the yellow flowers waved at the sun.

“You know what Sandeep? The next time I am in India, we should do it. Run through the fields like two young men!” Ram laughed. “Can you imagine?” He paused for a few seconds.  “Sandeep,” Ram said with a serious tone. “This is not a social call.”

“Is everything ok?” replied Rani’s father alerted.

“Yes, yes,” Ram responded quickly. He paused again before saying, “My nephew is studying to be a cardiologist and my sister is looking for a suitable wife.”

“Hmm,” said Rani’s father. “What are you trying to say?”

“Well,” Ram continued. “I think your Rani will be perfect for him. They are a match made in heaven. Both are two good-looking people. What a nice couple they would make.”

Author: Mila Kumari

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