Category: Uncategorized

Leave your guns at the door!

Should we leave our guns at the door? What? Are we back in the Wild West? No, your gun is just a metaphor for your smart phone. Why? Apparently we are unable to have a normal and genuine conversation with each other anymore. Nowadays social gatherings with family and friends are being dominated by social devices (iPads and smart phones).  Children are rather online instead of playing and having fun with each other.  At the dinner table we check our social networks instead of having a conversation. We rather send congratulations messages or happy birthday wishes via Whatsapp instead of just calling the birthday boy or girl.

road-people-street-smartphoneHave you ever heard of the word phubbing? I didn’t. According to a study at the Baylor University (James Roberts, Ph.D.) phubbing can even undermine our relationship with our romantic partner! Phubbing is to ignore a person or one’s surrounding in favour of your mobile phone.  Do you think phubbing is rude or disrespectful? Apparently when you ignore your partner in favour of your mobile phone it leads to a lower level of relationship satisfaction. According to Roberts “These lower level of relationship satisfaction, in turn, lead to lower level of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher level of depression.”  Surprised? Well I am.  Do you recognize any of the above examples?  Are we disconnected?  Do we rather interact with our smart phones than with real people? What do you think? Please do share your opinion?

At the start of the millennium one would have intuitively expected that the transformation from text messaging (pager) to smart phones would have led to an increase in voice communication. Clearly the relationship is inverse!  But is social media ruining human interactions? I disagree. It is just another way to connect with our friends and relatives regardless of how far away they are living. Remember social media opens a door to the rest of the world. We are able to connect to people we would not have been able to meet otherwise! We should therefore embrace new technology especially if it enriches our lives.  As long as we understand we only share our happy moments on social media (please read our previous blog: The grass is always greener on the other side?)

How can we improve the interaction amongst each other? The first step toward change is awareness the second step is taking action. You could agree with your partner to put the telephone out of sight when at home. Give your partner the attention she or he deserves.  As a parent you could ask children to leave their guns in a box when invited to play. As a result they will have to play together. Another idea is to establish a smart phone free-zone in for instance the pub. And who-ever uses his phone first will have to pay the bill (a tip I received from a trainee). I guess a very effective way of socializing! It emphasizes that even the young generation understand the value of socializing i.e. having genuine contact and interest in each other without being disregarded for a mobile device!  I can only encourage and support these kinds of practices. Do you have any tips and ideas? Please do share them with our readers.

Last but not least be the change that you wish to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi).

Off line is the new LUXURY don’t you agree?

The grass is always greener on the other side?

The grass is always greener on the other side. In the era of social media we are being exposed to picture perfect pictures, making us wonder:  why aren’t our life’s not that picture perfect, what are we doing wrong, why are our life’s dull? Picture perfect families, children, gardens, cakes, make up, bodies, perfect mother and daughter pictures, well I think you get the picture : ).

artistic-78253_640Is the grass on the other side really greener then the grass on your side?Most of our friends and family only share their happy moments on social media. There are very few who share their worries and sorrows. Why would they want to share these? (And even if they share their worries and sorrows chances are they will be the laughing stock or will get the tag: attention seeker. Yep this is how it works…) On their  Facebook wall everything seems to be ok but have you ever thought of what happens behind that wall, what really happens in their life’s not the social media life. Remember, what we see is not always true.

There are very few people who would like to share with the world that they had a big fight with their spouse before the picture perfect picture was taken and posted on Facebook. Or that they had to take 15 pictures (or maybe even more) before they had the perfect family picture. The picture perfect garden is only picture perfect because lot of effort has been taken into maintaining the garden (reminds me of the quote:  the grass is greener where you water it).

So next time you are on Facebook and see a picture perfect picture stop comparing it to your life. You have your own grass to deal with. Be truly happy that they have shared their pictures with you. Learn to appreciate what you have now and if you don’t like what you have now, change it. If you can’t change the situation, be content with what you have now, because looking for greener grass might lead to losing the people you love.

The grass is greener where you water it, do you agree?

Time to dance in the rain

Nowadays lifetime employment and job security is hardly feasible due to a rapid changing economic environment. Take for example, the impact on jobs and professions due to the transformation from bricks to clicks.  Furthermore our life expectancy is rising. We will be living longer than we all expected. As a result our pension, social and healthcare system will come under severe pressure. In order to keep our standard of living we need to be working longer. Our retirement date will most likely be a moving target or in the worst case scenario no retirement at all!

How many years do you still have to work until your retirement? And do you expect to be working for the same employer or in the same field untill your retirement? The above questions were to a certain degree an eye-opener. I realized I am just halfway i.e. I still have another halfway to go! A lot of questions popped up in my mind about my future journey as an employee. What should I do? Do I need to take actions? How to protect my position i.e. how to stay a valuable employee? Do I have other dreams I would like to pursue (please read my previous blog: https://babblewell.com/your-dream-is-not-for-sale/)? Well it’s time for a personal deep dive. Do you need to take action too?

Usually we start recalibrating our career roadmap when we are made redundant. Due to external circumstances you will be forced to look for other opportunities.  What should you do to stay ahead of the game i.e. to be better prepared? First of all you should realize you cannot control external circumstances! What you should do is to act within your own power and circle of influence. Take control before it is too late! How? Take ownership and start developing your skills and competencies while you are still employed. Foremost, and not be underestimated, while you are still in your comfort-zone.

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Take the time to assess your current career (status quo) and your ambitions. If you need help you could hire a coach or obtain a mentor. They can guide you. Subsequently you should draft your individual development plan (IDP). Based on your IDP you should start planning the necessary courses. Yes, I know! I rather sit on my couch too (please read the previous blog: https://babblewell.com/an-idle-mind/). It’s not a surprise but employees hardly make use of the many courses available at work. Apparently we do love our couch! However it’s time to take control of your career again. So start using your employee development budget. Remember on the one hand it will help you to remain a valuable employee. On the one other hand you will be able to strengthen those skills and competencies needed for a career change. Bottom line lifelong learning is a necessity!

All in all don’t get used to your current situation. Be ahead of the game. Start improving your competencies while being in your comfort zone. Remember YOU should be in control and not the circumstances. The future belongs to those who are willing to learn to dance in the rain.

 

An idle mind is the devil’s playground

An idle mind is the devil’s playground. Have you ever heard of this quote? What does this quote mean?  Does it mean that we have to keep ourselves busy all day? Keep ourselves busy so that we won’t do any activities which we will regret? What do you think?

An idle mindMost people when they have nothing to do (read bored) watch television. While watching television they think, well it is time for a snack. You get yourself a bag of potato chips and finish the whole bag. Instead of finishing a whole bag of potato chips you could have gone for a walk, enjoy the weather or done some small chores.  Don’t get me wrong, watching television is not a sin; it can be very relaxing, especially after a hard day working. But at the same time it should not be the only activity (can we call watching television an activity?) we can think of when we are bored. Isn’t it important to trigger our minds once in a while?  To learn something new, in order to protect ourselves from the “idle mind”.

Nowadays people are glued to their screens watching one show after another, their mind on zero, forgetting about what goes around them. And then we are complaining that we are too busy and too tired. If we are not watching our television screen we are watching the most popular screens of all, the telephone screen updating our statuses, posting pictures on social media, checking our email making us anti social creatures. Did you know that many people are afraid to call someone; they rather send a text message. (hmmm next blog topic?). Are screens our lifelines?

To prevent an idle mind we should keep learning, keep ourselves busy. And learning doesn’t mean that you have to join a master course. Learning can be done in many ways, by talking to people about various subjects, by watching a gardening tutorial (note: we are using the screen to learn), by reading about various subjects, by joining an art class course. And most important we should teach our kids what they can do when they are bored. Make a list together with your kids, write down what projects they want to do and let them pick one project when they are bored and all they want to do is watching television.

So how do you prevent and idle mind?

(Great way to prevent and idle mind  watch cooking videos on YouTube for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDSav_gn_lQ&list=PLrw59gJ6sVyFzXXVQW8dZd6Q0_MTzdYjj&index=1)

 

Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies

Do you ”know” your cookies? Have you ever read the food label of a box of chocolate chip cookies or any other food label for that matter? Did you recognize all the ingredients? There is a great chance that the answer is no.  But you still bought the box of cookies? You probably bought it because it was convenient, right?

We buy store bought products because it is convenient. Most of us have the impression that making cookies takes a lot of time. Yes it does take time, but then again nothing tastes better then homemade food. Did you know that whipping up cookie batter is pretty easy, it’s not rocket sience. (the science begins once they are in the oven). We only need a few ingredients for a basic vanilla cookie: eggs, butter, flour, vanilla, baking soda and some vanilla extract. That’s it.  Make your favorite cookie by adding some nuts, chocolate chip or dried fruits to the batter. Let them cool completely on a cooling tray and store them in a cookie jar or a cookie tin. They will keep up for up to a month. Need a great cookie recipe? You really should try this Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe:

 

You could even put a badge of the cookie dough into the freezer. Just scoop the cookie dough into a container and bake them when you are craving for some fresh homemade cookies. There is no need for you to buy store bought cookies anymore. If you want to, you can take it a step further; buy organic ingredients if your budget allows it, that is. If you don’t have a stand mixer, you could use a stand mixer. Or you could use a whisk or a wooden spoon to make the batter. They say for every problem there is a solution and it is a great workout for your arm :).

Happy Baking and please do share your favorite cookie recipe with us.

 

 

Poverty in the Western world

poverty-96293_640Being poor in the Western world? It does sound strange? But it is reality! There are many people, who are having problems making end meets. Lower income families try not to indulge themselves with luxury products like luxury clothes for their kids. They are living from paycheck to paycheck. When they have to buy new clothes for their kids their stress level rises. Also birthday parties of family and friends can lead to sleepless nights. How are they going to pay for all that? In order to keep up the appearances or to avoid social exclusion they start overspending. All this can lead to stress and significant financial problems. In the West it is called hidden poverty. According to The Netherlands Institute for Social Research the number of people living below the norm amount increased from 600,000 to 850,000 households in the Netherlands. The poverty rate is mainly increasing due to the current economic recession in Europe and the rest of world.

Poverty can also lead to eating disorders like for example obesity. Healthy food like fruit and vegetables are expensive. Lower income families are therefore forced to buy convenience food like pizzas, fries, frozen food and hamburgers. Convenience food is cheap, however also unhealthy. Unhealthy often means high sugar, high calorie and high fat food. In addition they have no money to pay for a sport club or for a gym membership. We all know a lack of exercise can results in obesity. But it can also have a negative impact on their future health.

I was astonished that in a country like the Netherlands 1 out of 7 children are going to school on an empty stomach. As we all know breakfast is an important start of the day. Studies have shown that kids who have breakfast perform better in the classroom. They will have more energy and a much better concentration.

How to fight poverty? On the one hand the government should simply start creating jobs and economic growth. How? The government should increase spending by borrowing at negative rates in the capital market. They should for example invest in infrastructural projects, to support innovations i.e. become Europe’s Silicon Valley, in education and in the transformation to green energy.

On the other hand it’s inspiring and heart warming that there are many organisations, run by volunteers, who are helping the lower income families. In the Netherlands there are 162 food banks who are distributing food to those in need. Furthermore there are organisations that are making sure that children are getting a healthy dinner at least once a week.

What can we do? First stop judging! Never be fooled what you see on the outside because on the inside it’s often a different story. Imagine how difficult a step to the food bank must be for them. Second we can work as a volunteer. Third we can donate money or food to the food bank. So next time when we see volunteers in the supermarket asking for food for those in need: let’s donate whatever you can give!

Author: Mr. Babblewell

Sugar the hidden fat-maker

Sugar the hidden fat-maker
Sugar the hidden fat-maker

Are you one of those people who just love to buy a hot steamy drink at their favourite coffee chain on their way to work? There is nothing better than to sip a hot chocolate or a steamy fancy “chai” when it is cold outside, don’t you agree? By the way do you avoid sodas because they contain quite a lot of sugar? Well I got news for you. Fact alert: your hot drink might contain even more sugar then the sodas you banned from your daily diet? This is an eye opener isn’t? Are you “craving” for the facts here are some details:

Starbucks: Hot Mulled Fruit (Grape with Chai, Orange and Cinnamon), Venti – 25 teaspoons

Costa Coffee: Chai Latte Massimo – 20 teaspoons

Starbucks: White Chocolate Mocha with Whipped Cream, Venti – 18 teaspoons (was my personal favourite, not anymore, 18 teaspoons of sugar!)

For full details please visit: http://www.actiononsugar.org/News%20Centre/Surveys%20/2016/170862.pdf

Our food is “poisioned” with hidden sugar. We consume it daily without even knowing that we are having it. A few examples are: bread, sauces like ketchup or barbecue sauce, your healthy fruit juice, your favourite pasta sauce or your favourite fruit yoghurt. Are you buying low fat products because you think it might be healthier? Well I got another fact alert for you. In order to hide the bland taste of your low fat product they “just” add some extra sugar. All the “healthy” granola bars widely available nowadays may seem healthy but do contain a lot of sugar, most of them contain dried fruits, honey or another sugar in disguise which you as a consumer are not aware of. Sugar makes our food taste better and we are addicted to the taste without even knowing it.

How can we avoid the intake of hidden sugars? The easiest ways is, let’s call it the first option, to limit the amount of processed food and make our own food. But how can we make this happen with the limited amount of spare time we have. Due to our busy lives most of us are pressed for time. The second option is awareness, read ingredient labels. The third option is a mix of the first and second option. For example you could make your own fruit yoghurt by adding fruits to plain yoghurt or make your own pasta sauce. You even could make your own bread if you have time for it that is or are willing to make time for it.

Once you’re used to making your own food you will notice how much better it tastes and you know what you are eating. If you have some spare time left maybe you would like to try to make your own bread. Here’s a video from The Bread Kitchen of how to make your own bread, Titli has some great bread recipes!:

https://youtu.be/SVSPKkDxXBg

Happy baking!

What happened to our educational system?

Our little Maharadja is six years old. He goes to primary school. He wants to become a policeman or an archaeologist. He loves to play on his playstation, with his Lego and to tinker. He also likes to talk about various subjects like dinosaurs, the police, cartoons and the universe. Above all he is curious about how many things are being made. As a parent we believe that education is the foundation for his career in life.  We therefore strive for the best education for our little Maharadja. Hence we take co-responsibility for his education. Although a successful career is important but material success should not be fundamental for happiness! As long as he loves what he is doing nothing else should matter.

But I am astonished about the current workload at his primary school. Nowadays a lot is expected from our children at school. Our Maharadja already needs to read, to write, telling time and do mathematics. Furthermore his school is assessing his skills against the national standards twice a year! It will not come as a surprise but his standard is way higher compared to what we needed to know at his age. Remember? I understand the necessity of testing our children at school. On the one hand it helps to monitor their progress, to identify who needs additional support and to fill the gaps. The ultimate goal is to set a high standard for performance. But on the other hand a label can also have negative consequences for a child i.e. it can develop into a stigma. With such a label parents and teachers will most likely focus on the child’s weaknesses instead of their capabilities and strengths. As a result our children can become de-motivated, lose their self-esteem and above all their interest in learning. What a stress for a child at his age! Every day I am wondering what happened to our educational system i.e. what happened to the fun at primary school?

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We do have dedicated teachers committed to educate our children. But they cannot give every child the attention they need. On the one hand classes are too large. This will have an impact on their teaching effectiveness. On the other hand the high workload and the stress to perform. A primary teacher needs to prepare classes, assess children and to write many development reports for parents and management. This is just a tip of the iceberg. As a consequence too much time is being spent on administrative duties instead of on children’s education.

So what should we do? I guess without our help many children will not be able to meet and cope with the high standard set by the school system. We need to take our responsibility for the sake of our children. Without our help our children can fall between two tools. The time we spend educating at home can be just enough for them not to get discouraged at school. Children, who will become discouraged will get frustrated, will lose their self-esteem and will get bored. In addition they will have a lack of confidence and will stop dreaming. We need to stop the downward spiral. I do understand that they need to make their own future. But it is our responsibility to make sure they stay on track.  If necessary we need to help them with their homework. Last but not least let’s not forget there should be a healthy balance between playing, having fun and making homework.

Remember we need to inspire and help our children to become the architect of their own future.

Author: Mr. Babblewell

Sweatpants and the stay at home mom

Sweatpants, are so comfy? Don’t you agree? If you’re a working mom, there is nothing better than to change from your “work clothes” into something much more comfortable. They say this “changing ritual” relaxes our mind. But is it ok to wear sweatpants all the time? If you are happy wearing sweatpants all the time then go for it, or not?

Many stay at home mom’s, have the tendency to wear sweatpants or yoga pants all the time.  It’s just super comfortable and easy with kids. The moms are so busy with the kids, household chores, sports games and so on that they just forget about themselves. And before the moms realize it, the sweatpants have become their day to day clothes, their costume. It just happened like that, from one day to another.

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For many stay at home moms everything is about the kids and household chores. They are so occupied that they just forgot to take care of themselves. Or maybe they don’t allow themselves some “me time”. If this sounds familiar to you, take out some old pictures (of happy moments!) and take a look at yourself. This was the woman you were before the kids and you can be this woman again but now with kids and all the household chores. This is another stage in your life.

Let me tell you a secret….. household chores are never ending chores. You have to realize that. Why don’t you allow yourself to get out of those sweatpants or yoga pants? And allow yourself 7 minutes of “me time”. Allow yourself to be you again and the mom and the wife but without those sweatpants. Allow yourself to take care of yourself.  You deserve this.

Please do read my post about “me time”: https://babblewell.com/ignoring/

What is your perfect “stay at home mom” daily outfit?

Your dream is not for sale


Everything in life starts with a dream, like every child dreams of becoming an actor, a fire-fighter or a doctor. But as we grow up we stop pursuing our dreams. Why? On the one hand we conform ourselves to the aspirations and ambitions set by our parents. On the other hand we are reluctant to step outside of our comfort zone as soon as we have a job and responsibilities. Responsibilities like for example a mortgage or a family.  Apparently the most important obstacle between you and your dream is being comfortable with your current situation. In other words you are satisfied with the good instead of pursuing for the best. This is a natural reaction.

list-800759_640 (1)But whenever we are forced to leave our comfort zone we start following our dreams again. An obvious trigger is when we are being made redundant. Losing our job is never a pleasant situation. It could lead to financial and social stress. But losing your job should not be the end of the world. As soon as you have reclaimed your situation you will realize that you have taken important things in your life, like your dream, for granted. We are therefore willing to look at new opportunities and use our skills in a better and more fulfilling way. As a result you will be in control of your own life again. You will be doing work that you really love to do. On the one hand you can consider finding a job that is connected to you dream. On the other hand you can start  your own business. As an entrepreneur you need to be convinced that your dream can provide you with a sustainable source of income.

But the path to your dream is not easy. You need to have endurance, a lot of perseverance and above all support from your family and friends. Failure and discouragement will always be part of your journey. But failure can be the foundation for your success. Thomas Edison once stated “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Remember those who never tried will always fail i.e. follow your dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs. So let’s take control of our own life and follow our own dreams!

Author: Mr. Babblewell