Category: Uncategorized


Feb
2022

Part 15: “Why do people cheat?”

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

“Only If you want too.”

“I don’t want to burden you with my heartache.”

“Well go on,  I am listening.”

“I have my moments, my ups and downs. Sometimes I feel well or ok and  sometimes I am just depressed. It drives me crazy, Andy. There are times that I just know that I am losing it.  You know what annoys me the most.  Everyone around me is telling me to go out and have a social life. To pick up my life and  start dating. I should prove Karan what a scumbag he has been and what he is missing out on.” She paused and looked outside.  “I know they mean well, but why should I prove that piece of, well you know what I wanted to say.  Deep down I know that I should move on. I see women around me who are divorced and live a happy live. What is wrong with me?

Heart

It still feels like my heart is cut into pieces. I am waiting for my heart to heal. Will it heal ever?  Why do people cheat? This all frustrates me so much since I know there are no answers to these questions and I do know that I am tormenting myself.”

Trisha pouted her mouth and moved her lips.  “My friends and family keep telling me that it has been two years already. That I should get over it, since he is getting on with his life. But I don’t care about him, I care about me.”

Andy listened to Trisha and was silent for a few moments. “Do you want to heal, Trisha? To me it seems that you are stuck in feeling sorry for yourself and you don’t know how to let go of that feeling. Life is never easy and you cannot compare your life to others. You are Trisha, a unique person. ”I think that you have to sort your feelings out, maybe talk to a therapist?”

Therapy

“I considered going into therapy, but I was hoping to fix things myself.”

Andy nodded his head. “Sometimes we must set our ego aside and do what we know is good for us.”

“I know. I keep telling myself that.”

“Have you considered taking up a hobby? Take it step by step, don’t overdo it. Go to the gym. Maybe even a sewing classes or a baking class. No strings attached type of activities. You don’t need to talk with these people, if you don’t want to.” He continued in a naughty voice “And if you really want to be bold…you should take a salsa class for singles.”

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Jan
2022

Part 13: “It is Friday night, you should go out!”

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

Trisha cursed as she  put her glass down. She had spilled  wine on herself and on the couch. Quickly she grabbed a  Kleenex from the coffee table to dab the stain.  Clumsy Trisha, the name her friends had given her. The queen of  spilling food on the table, on herself,  dropping her cutlery in a fancy restaurant, trip over something to name a few. Once she tripped over a pebble and almost fell off a cliff in Crete.

“That scumbag” she hissed. She hated it when her mind wondered off to her ‘precious previous life’ as she was used to calling it now. It made Trisha wonder, how her feelings for the man she once loved so deeply, had turned into utter hatred.

She had changed into a fresh shirt and was preparing dinner. An easy one pot rice and vegetables with a Greek green salad. Cooking relaxed Trisha, she hummed a song while cutting the vegetables.

Phone call from Diya

Then her phone started ringing. Quickly she rinsed her hands and took a look at the display. A smile appeared on her face.  It was her cousin who lived abroad with her two children.  She had made a brave step and moved to the USA after a messy divorce . She now worked as a school teacher at an International school.

“Hi Diya”, Trisha said in a cheerful voice. “How are you and the kids doing?”

“We are doing fine.  Hope you are well.”

“Yes, thank you for asking. I am making dinner.”

“It is Friday night, you should go out.  You are young. Go the movies, to a bar, to a club, meet with friends. Step out of your comfort zone. ”

“You sound just like everyone else. I just want to relax, I worked all week and I don’t have a 9 to 5 job.”

“Don’t be a wall flower Trisha.” Her cousin now really sounded like a school teacher.  

“Hmm, that makes two wall flowers? You never go out either.  How are the kids doing?”

“They are doing fine, they adapted quickly, they have an American accent.” Her cousin chuckled. “The kids and work keep me busy and going.  I have come to realize that I should enjoy life. I  am the only one who can make me happy. Life is too precious to sulk over people who are not worth it. I have learned this the hard way. And one day Trish you will realize it too, when you have grieved enough and when you realize it is time to move on. I know what you are going through. I have experienced a divorce first hand. You know Trish, life is a learning school.”

“You can say that again.”

Ocean apart

“I am here for you although there is an ocean between us. You know that right?”

“I know. You know Diya, I am so proud of you. Not many women have the courage to do what you have done. For now I would describe my life as,  good and bad times and thankfully they are mostly good times. They say time heals wounds so I am betting on time.”

“Trisha, believe it or not, time really does heals wounds, it does. We human beings are weird creatures, we sometimes jeopardize our own happiness. Hey, I need to go now, my break is over.  Just think about what I said ok. Speak to you soon.”

“Speak to you soon, Diya.”

Since the day Diya heard about Trisha´s divorce she  had called her every week. The phone calls although short helped Trisha seeing the bigger picture.

Speaking with Diya´s today had done Trisha good, it had cheered her up and then just like that she felt sad. Trisha cursed herself. Why was she  tormenting herself.

That entire weekend Trisha had locked herself up. She didn´t answer any phone calls or text messages except that from her mother, who was worried about her daughter. Since now people were calling her that they couldn´t get hold of Trisha.

Her mother had called her and  tried to convince Trisha to go out or visit her but to no avail. She told her mother that she would like to stay in and she didn’t want any visitors. Trisha’s mother had sighed and put the phone down. She knew exactly what her beloved daughter was going through because she had experienced this herself.

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Part 12: “I love and want to be with both of you…”

Jan
2022

Part 12: “I love and want to be with both of you…”

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

“You should have thought of that before you wooed your colleague. I trusted you! You were working on a deal together and that was the reason you were having lunches and drinks together. It never crossed my mind that you were having secret meetings with your mistress.” Trisha paused, “I am just flabbergasted. I saw us growing old together, sitting on a plaza having tapas, the irony. I read these stories in magazines.  And now it is happening to me!”

Karan looked at Trisha. She noticed the hesitation on his face. “Trisha, I love you and I love Catherine. I want to be with both of you. I just cannot live without you! Please try to understand me.”

With astonishment she looked at him. “What do you mean? Is there something I am missing here?”

“I want to be with both of you.  Catherine is ok with that.”

Duo Penotti

Her eyes widened.  “Have you lost it? I am not good enough for you! You want a brown and a white woman. Let me guess you already got a name for us, ‘Duo Penotti’” she screamed. “You got some nerves! Do I look like I want to share my husband with someone else? For your information I am a very territorial girl! I am not sharing my husband with anyone! This conversation is over, you scumbag!” You can go and live with that witch and start a harem for all I care. But for your information, I will not be a part of it.”

Then she walked to the living room door and said in a calm voice “Ooh in case you didn’t get the message, I want a divorce, as soon as possible. And I don’t want any counselling or any of that mediator shit. This marriage is over! You can call your parents and tell them that. I am going over to my mom to tell her what a wonderful son in law you are.” Trisha grabbed her keys and stormed out of the house to the garage where her car was parked.

Divorce

She turned up the volume of the car radio up and started to yell, scream and cry. All the anger which had been built up came out of her. “That witch knew that he was married!” She cried and yelled for half an hour. When she calmed down something became clear to her. If he had really loved her, he would walk away from that witch, but he did not! Instead he and that witch made up this scenario that she was allowed to stay in his life!  What were the two of them thinking!

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Part 11: “How could you do this to me?”


Dec
2021

Part 7: She refused to be a charity case

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

“I am going to get another cup of coffee before I head back to the office.”

Trisha nodded, “Enjoy your coffee. I will keep in touch.”

“I will be looking forward to your call.” He scraped his throat. “You can call me anytime. Even on the weekends. But I guess you don’t work on weekends.”

“I try not to.” Trisha said with a smile.

Sid nodded. “That is something I should learn, try not to work on weekends. It messes up your private life.”

Trisha smiled “yes, it does. Well, have a nice weekend, Sid.”

Trisha walked out of the door trying to keep her face straight.  A huge smile appeared on her face, an overwhelming sense of happiness overcame her. She took a deep breath and hummed a song she heard on the radio this morning.

Confused

Confused about her feelings Trisha walked to the train station, absorbed in her thoughts. Her divorce had scarred her heart deeply and therefore she had decided that this would never happen again, ever. But now she just couldn’t control her feelings.

Trisha, just remember why you named him Mr. Eye Candy. He has this impact on woman hence the name ‘Mr. Eye Candy.’ Besides he is your client. Enjoy the feeling while it lasts. This too will pass.

Home

Trisha opened her front door and greeted a neighbour who happened to pass by. She closed the door and locked it. It felt good being home. She turned the lights on and took off her heels, carefully placing them in the shoe cabinet. Sid had been on her mind off and on the entire time while she was heading back home. Should she call him and tell him that she couldn’t get hold of the candidate? She decided against it. It was Friday evening after all.

What would he be doing now? Having a romantic date with a beautiful female? Trisha felt a knot in  her stomach. The thought alone made her feel jealous.

Trisha, get a hold of yourself, you act like a jealous teenager, she said in a loud voice.

Trisha walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She had changed into a pair of yoga pants. It was time to unwind after a long week.

She sat down on her couch and took a sip from her wine with closed eyes.  This was not how she had imagined her life a couple of years ago, far from this.

Trisha had no siblings. She did not miss having them.  Her friends and cousins were married or in a relationship. They had lives of their own and she didn’t want to intrude.  She texted with them and every so often they planned something together.

When she was not working, she was home on her couch, reading or watching television. Her life wasn’t as glamorous as all of her friends and family thought it was. But she let them believe it was, she didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She refused to be a charity case.

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Part 6: Is there a ring on his finger?

Nov
2021

Part 6: Is there a ring on his finger?

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

 “I am so sorry” quickly she grabbed some napkins. Trisha felt embarrassed and felt her head getting warm. Why was this always happening to her.

“Don’t worry about it, it is just water”, Sid said in a reassuring voice. “Let me get some paper towels.”

Clumsy Trisha strikes again, Trisha sighed. She wanted the ground to swallow her up.

When he came back he wiped the table. “See, like nothing happened.” Sid gave Trisha a smile, for a brief moment their eyes locked.

“Thank you, erhm where were we.”  Come on Trisha, you can do this, Trisha encouraged herself. “I think I might have someone who will be excellent for this job. She is young and mouldable and has had two internships with Fortune500 companies on her resume.”

Sid raised his eyebrows “Sounds very promising.”

“I will give her a call today.” Trisha stopped and then continued “I must say, I admire what you have achieved in such a small time.”

Bumpy Road

“Thank you. I appreciate that. It has been a bumpy road. Unfortunately not many people realize that. They think that  ‘Sid Data’ just grew like that without any fall backs.” He laughed and shook his head.   “I have many more plans for ‘Sid Data’ but can’t do them if I don’t have employees. It seems that all Tech companies are fishing in the same pond.”

Trisha nodded her head. “We are all fishing in the same pond. I will give her a call right after this meeting.”

 “That would be great, fingers crossed. Please keep me updated.”

“I will, is there anything else I can help you with, Sid?”  I am volunteering to put my head on your shoulders, her inner voice said.

Sid smiled, his eyes were sparkling again. He shook his head. “No, one Junior Software Tester is all that I need, for now.”

 “Okay, let me get in touch with this lady. It was nice meeting you, Sid,” she said and stood up. Trisha wanted to leave as soon as possible since Sid was making her feel awkward.

Feeling

“The feeling is mutual” he said when he shook her hand, “to a fruitful cooperation, Trisha”

Was he holding her hand a second too long before he let go? It is your imagination Trisha, it is what you want to believe. Look at him he is ‘Mr. Eye Candy.  He is already engaged, married or has one or more beautiful girlfriends. It was her inner voice again.

Trisha opened her bag and pretended as if she was looking for something. Then she quickly peeked at his fingers, no wedding ring and no engagement ring.  Don’t get your hopes up to high, sometimes people don’t wear rings!

“You look awfully happy” said Sid. “You must be looking forward to your weekend.”

Are you making a fool of yourself again?  Can’t you act like a normal person? Trisha reprimanded herself.

“Yeah, well sort of. I better go and catch my train” trying her best to sound casual.


Oct
2021

Trisha’s life – Part 02

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

Trisha shook her head and  turned her laptop on.  While sipping on her coffee she went through her to do list. She had some interviews and a meeting scheduled for today, just after lunch.

“Trisha, I really like your work ethic,  but don’t forget to have your lunch. How else will you make me money? One can’t survive on an empty stomach, at least I can’t.” Andy rubbed his stomach and looked disgusted at the bottle with the green substance  on his desk.

“Thank you for reminding me, Andy”,  as she took a bite from her cheese sandwich and started a video on YouTube from ‘Ted X’.

Since her divorce, two years ago,  Trisha had been immersing herself into her work. As a single woman she did as she pleased and she happened to like her job as a job consultant. 

“Don’t you have this meeting with  ‘Sid Data’ in an hour?” Andy looked up from his laptop, his eyes on Trisha’s cheese sandwich.

Trisha nodded her head. “Don’t stare at my sandwich like that. You will give me a stomach ache.”

“Stomach ache?”

“It is an Indian superstitious thing. My mother used to tell me that when you are eating and someone is looking at you that you will get a stomach ache.”

“Aah ok, it is like I am sending you some bad energy towards the food you are eating?”

“You could put it that way. Can I offer you a piece of my sandwich. I won’t tell the Mrs…. It will be our little secret.”

“No, thank you. I better obey to the Mrs.” He rolled his eyes. “Imagine if she ever found out.”

Trisha grinned. “You pour soul. My sandwich is yum, yum. I must say  I really enjoy every bite of it.  But I do admire your perseverance, I couldn’t do it.”

“Yep, even I am proud of my own perseverance.” Andy said with a grin holding his bottle in one hand looking at the poisonous green liquid.

“You should be proud of yourself, Andy. Come on now, it is time to take a sip from the bottle. You don’t want to disappoint the Mrs. do you?

Trisha  walked into the lobby. She welcomed the cool air, as it was a hot and humid day. The girl at the reception desk stared at her which made Trisha feel uncomfortable.

“What can I do for you? And by the way, sorry for staring at you, but your shoes are so beautiful. I wish I could walk on heels like you do, so comfortable, like it is nothing.” She watched Trisha while leaning her head on her hand.

“Thank you. You know what they say practice makes perfect.”

“How may I help you? I assume you have an appointment with someone? Why else would you be here right?”

Trisha pressed her lips trying not to laugh. “I Am Trisha Gandhi. I am here to…”

The girls’ eyes widened. “Is Gandhi your grandfather?”

“No, he is not. We’re not related. It is just a common surname.”

The girl looked disappointed at Trisha. “Anyways your appointment is with whom?” Her eyes were giving away that Trisha was no longer a subject of interest to her.

“Mr. Bal.”

“Ooooh, Mr. Bal.” She stared at Trisha. “Lucky you” she murmured softly.  “You know it’s my second day here. So I need to find my way around. The lady who usually does this job has broken her leg. So, well, yeah… let me call Mr. Bal. Please take a seat.”


Oct
2021

Snippet of my book “Chai and Marigolds”

categories: My babbles, Uncategorized

Hello readers,

In my previous post I was telling you about the book I wrote, “Chai and Marigolds”. I would like to share a snippet of my book. Happy reading!

A writer only begins a book.


The Past – Thirteen years ago

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon when Rani was sipping tea with her parents in the living room. Her father read the newspaper; Rani and her mother were watching TV.

“You know Rani,” said her mother. “When I was your age, I was already married.”

Rani laughed. She looked at her mother and replied, “Yes mummy. I know.” She took another sip from her cup of tea. “You have told me many times.”

Her mother looked up at the ceiling and then referred to her husband, “Hai Bhagwan (Ooh God), what will happen to this girl?”

Rani was glad when the phone’s ring interrupted as she hoped it would distract her mother. Rani’s mother got up to answer the phone. “Everything in this house, I have to do. What will happen when I die one day?” she said dramatically. Rani and her father looked at each other and burst out in laughter. When her mother picked up the phone, Rani heard a voice shouting on the other line.  Rani giggled. Shouting was a habit many Indians had when calling from abroad. “It is for you,” said Rani’s mother to her husband. “It is Ram from London.”

Ram was her father’s old school friend. Once in a while, he called, but whenever he was in India, he always visited. He would also call in advance requesting Rani’s mother to make gulab jamuns (Indian donuts) because according to him, they were the best gulab jamuns.

“Namaste Ram,” Rani’s father saluted. “How have you been? I was going to call you one of these days. What a coincidence,” he teased.

“I am doing fine, Sandeep,” said Ram. “We are all busy with everyday life that sometimes we just don’t seem to be able to pick up the phone. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, you are right. Now we have grown old with more responsibilities,” reminisced Rani’s father. “Those times of running around in the fields are gone. Can you remember?” For a moment, Rani’s father saw himself running with Ram through the mustard fields as the yellow flowers waved at the sun.

“You know what Sandeep? The next time I am in India, we should do it. Run through the fields like two young men!” Ram laughed. “Can you imagine?” He paused for a few seconds.  “Sandeep,” Ram said with a serious tone. “This is not a social call.”

“Is everything ok?” replied Rani’s father alerted.

“Yes, yes,” Ram responded quickly. He paused again before saying, “My nephew is studying to be a cardiologist and my sister is looking for a suitable wife.”

“Hmm,” said Rani’s father. “What are you trying to say?”

“Well,” Ram continued. “I think your Rani will be perfect for him. They are a match made in heaven. Both are two good-looking people. What a nice couple they would make.”

Author: Mila Kumari

Order your copy of “Chai and Marigolds” at your #digital bookstore now for € 2,99 only!

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Sep
2021

Hello readers… I am back

categories: Uncategorized

Hope you are doing well.

As I am writing this, we are in the middle of a pandemic! Who would have thought, that all of us would end up playing a role in a very bad movie. And we didn´t even  had to audition for it.

I have been away for a while.  I was amongst others things, working on my very first novel “Chai and Marigolds.”

“Chai and Marigolds” is about Rani who is a yoga teacher.  She lives with her husband Neal and their two children in their beautiful house in Rosebury. Rani has everything her heart desires. Except for love and affection from her husband… for which she yearns.

Then by accident Rani meets her true love from her past.  A man, who loved her from the first day they met. Is this destiny or is it meant to be that she meets him after so many years?

Now she struggles between her mind and her heart. Will she stay with her husband and adhere to her cultural traditions?  Or does her heart has a mind of its own?

What do you think Rani will do? Please leave your comment, I would love to hear from you.

You can Order your copy of “Chai and Marigolds” at your #digital bookstore. (You are just one click away 😊.)

https://www.kobo.com/nl/nl/ebook/chai-and-marigolds

If you are interested in reading some  snippets of  “Chai and Marigolds” please visit my Facebook page, “Chai and Marigolds.”

Currently I am working on my second novel. I “only” need to write about 75 pages more. My second novel is about Ruhi, a widow who lives with her twin daughters and evil stepmother in rural North India. The time period for this novel is around 1900 when indentured labourers left India to work on plantations.

If you would like to read little snippets of this book, let me know. I am more than happy to post them on my Facebook page. This novel is totally fictional and not based on historical facts.

Don´t forget to subscribe to my blog and Facebook pages. I will be back with a new post, next week.

Mila


Feb
2017

Fast Fashion

categories: My babbles, Uncategorized

Fast fashion is the latest trend (actually has been the latest trend for a few years).

What is Fast Fashion? IMO Fast fashion is cheap fashionable apparel bought for one season (or less) only. It is highly popular among youngsters and parents with little children (my own survey). Youngsters (well most of them) like to shop and now with the Fast Fashion trend they can shop for new fashionable clothing weekly. But everything comes with a price. How come fast fashion is so affordable? The companies who bring Fast Fashion on the market are always on top locations, meaning high rent and still they manage to survive. So Fast Fashion is “big business”. This is a win- win situation for the shopper and the retailer, right?

cotton-1188323_640But there is a downside to Fast Fashion. Are we aware of the fact that affordable fashion (read: cheap fashion) can only be affordable because everything in order to produce cheap fashion has to cost next to nothing? The farmer who grew the cotton doesn’t get a fair price for his crop. The people who make the clothing for Fast Fashion do not get fair wages or in some cases not even a safe workplace environment (http://www.globallabourrights.org/campaigns/factory-collapse-in-bangladesh). So are the people at the very beginning of the chain being treated unfair? Who makes the profit? In any case, not these people.

Not only people are affected but also our environment is affected by the Fast Fashion trend. After a few washes the clothes don’t look nice and appealing (hmm, why is that?), so we throw them out (Tip: why not use them to mop floors?) they have done their work. Did you know that producing a single t-shirt can take about 2700 litres of water*! That is a lot of water for a t-shirt we only wear a few times after which we then chuck it in the bin! Hmmm, Hundreds of millions of people do not have access to water. The minimum amount of water people need is 20 litres** per day, so 135 people per day could live on the water of one single t-shirt.

We humans are not taking care of Mother Earth by our actions. Fast Fashion is just one of many actions. A large group of humans have been created who only want to consume. This group is un-aware (a lot of them really are) of the fact what effect their consumption has. Shouldn’t we inform our youngsters about these facts?  Can we teach our youngster not to buy 5 cheap t-shirts but to buy 2 quality t shirts instead which they can wear longer, or will they choose quantity over quality? Can we change the mindset of our youngsters?

If we the consumers change the way we shop aren’t the retailers forced to change their business policy? In the end it will also be beneficial for those at the beginning of the chain.

The question is, are we consumers willing to change, are we?

*http://www.worldwildlife.org/stories/the-impact-of-a-cotton-t-shirt

** http://everylittledrop.com.au/knowledge-center/how-much-water-does-a-person-need/

 


Nov
2016

Leave your guns at the door!

categories: Mr. Babblewell's babbles, Uncategorized

Should we leave our guns at the door? What? Are we back in the Wild West? No, your gun is just a metaphor for your smart phone. Why? Apparently we are unable to have a normal and genuine conversation with each other anymore. Nowadays social gatherings with family and friends are being dominated by social devices (iPads and smart phones).  Children are rather online instead of playing and having fun with each other.  At the dinner table we check our social networks instead of having a conversation. We rather send congratulations messages or happy birthday wishes via Whatsapp instead of just calling the birthday boy or girl.

road-people-street-smartphoneHave you ever heard of the word phubbing? I didn’t. According to a study at the Baylor University (James Roberts, Ph.D.) phubbing can even undermine our relationship with our romantic partner! Phubbing is to ignore a person or one’s surrounding in favour of your mobile phone.  Do you think phubbing is rude or disrespectful? Apparently when you ignore your partner in favour of your mobile phone it leads to a lower level of relationship satisfaction. According to Roberts “These lower level of relationship satisfaction, in turn, lead to lower level of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher level of depression.”  Surprised? Well I am.  Do you recognize any of the above examples?  Are we disconnected?  Do we rather interact with our smart phones than with real people? What do you think? Please do share your opinion?

At the start of the millennium one would have intuitively expected that the transformation from text messaging (pager) to smart phones would have led to an increase in voice communication. Clearly the relationship is inverse!  But is social media ruining human interactions? I disagree. It is just another way to connect with our friends and relatives regardless of how far away they are living. Remember social media opens a door to the rest of the world. We are able to connect to people we would not have been able to meet otherwise! We should therefore embrace new technology especially if it enriches our lives.  As long as we understand we only share our happy moments on social media (please read our previous blog: The grass is always greener on the other side?)

How can we improve the interaction amongst each other? The first step toward change is awareness the second step is taking action. You could agree with your partner to put the telephone out of sight when at home. Give your partner the attention she or he deserves.  As a parent you could ask children to leave their guns in a box when invited to play. As a result they will have to play together. Another idea is to establish a smart phone free-zone in for instance the pub. And who-ever uses his phone first will have to pay the bill (a tip I received from a trainee). I guess a very effective way of socializing! It emphasizes that even the young generation understand the value of socializing i.e. having genuine contact and interest in each other without being disregarded for a mobile device!  I can only encourage and support these kinds of practices. Do you have any tips and ideas? Please do share them with our readers.

Last but not least be the change that you wish to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi).

Off line is the new LUXURY don’t you agree?