December 2021 - Babblewell.com

Trisha looked disgusted. “Are you kidding me? You are so full of yourself! Let me rephrase your memory. You just told me that you have been cheating on me! Me, your wife! The woman you married two years ago, remember? The woman who supported you because you were working on a big deal for the last couple of weeks.” Trisha said with a raised voice. “Now I can be added to the statistics. I am also one of those women whose husband has cheated on them while the wife was thinking that he was working hard…working hard cuddling another woman….and more!” She looked at Karan as if she was possessed by the Goddess Kali herself.

Trisha shook her head and looked curious at Karan. “Who is this other woman, do I know her,” she said in a demanding voice.

That witch!

Karan stared at the floor and scraped his throat. Trisha saw that he was wondering whether he should answer her. He fidgeted with his wedding band. Trisha wanted to walk towards him and smack him in his face. She almost did but refrained for doing so.

“It’s Catherine” he said in a hesitant voice.

She looked him in the eyes. Her eyes were big and filled with anger. “That witch!” She spatted. “That witch!” “We had invited her to our wedding! She was on the dance floor with her husband all night.” Trisha had the urge to throw something at him but calmed herself down. “She knew that you were married. And you knew that she was married, but still you both choose to cheat on us. Really, I cannot believe this! How could you do this to me? How? Why?” Trisha was confused.

It takes two to tango

Trisha now pictured how she would punch Catherine on her eye and when she had fallen down Trisha would stand on her hand with her high heels. On those very hands who had the nerve to caress her husband. She pictured how she would tie both of them and then torture them. It startled Trisha that she had such a violent mind. But at the same time it felt good. It takes two to tango Trisha, don’t forget that, it was her inner voice.

“They got divorced six months ago,” said Karan.

“What!” You didn’t tell me that! Trisha paused and continued in a loud voice. Now she wondered if she really should smack him. “Let me get this straight. That witch got divorced and threw herself on you. Might I remind you, a married man? Who happens to be my husband?” Trisha spoke in a loud but calm voice. Wondering how she could keep so calm.

You will always be by number one

“Well, it didn’t exactly go like that.” He pressed his lips together. Trisha saw that he was thinking what to say next. “She was feeling down and was going through some rough times because of her divorce. She needed someone who was willing to listen. I don’t know when it happened, it just happened.”

Trisha sighed deep “cut this shit! Tell someone else this crappy sad story. She needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to …” she didn’t finish the sentence.

“But did you hear what I said before. I love you and I want to be with you, Trisha.”

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t be cheating on me, would you? Because a decent married man doesn´t cheat on his wife” her tone was now loud and aggressive. She felt tears welling up and took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry in front of him!

“But you will always be my number one.” Karan said in a desperate voice.

Part 10: Am I not good enough for you?

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23
Dec
2021

Part 10: Am I not good enough for you?

“Wait, what?” She paused for a second. “Why? Why Karan, why?” I thought we had a good marriage.” Trisha said confused. “I don’t understand…. am I not good enough for you?” She yelled at him, her eyes spitting fire.

“We do… But I don’t know.” He still avoided her gaze.

Trisha didn’t know what to say and stared at Karan. She felt her stomach turning. “To me it seems like our marriage doesn’t mean anything to you. Because if it would have meant something to you, you wouldn’t be seeing someone else, would you?” Trisha’s voice was calm now. She looked with questioning eyes at Karan demanding an answer.

I still love you Trisha

Finally he looked up. “I still love you Trisha. I mean I don’t know what happened, or why.” He looked at her as if he himself was the victim in this story.

Trisha felt anger building up inside of her. Her eyes were now filling up with anger. She looked at him as if he had a contagious disease. “How could you do this to me? You disgust me!” She screamed. “You disgust me, you bastard!”

Karan stood up and walked towards her. “Trisha I …”

Trisha interrupted him and raised her hands. She didn’t want to hear anything from him. “Please stay where you are. And please do not come near me.” She screamed at the top of her longs and felt her throat hurting.

He did as she had asked him to do. Karan looked at Trisha. His eyes giving away that he was feeling uncomfortable. At the same time he had a kind look on his face which confused Trisha. How could he betray her?

“I still love you Trisha, you are the love of my life. You do know that, don’t you?”

“I am” she said in a sarcastic tone. “Thank you for expressing your deepest feelings with me. It is highly appreciated.” She still felt her throat hurting and scraped her throat.

Trisha was scared of her own thoughts

Trisha calmed down but deep down she wanted to scratch Karan’s eyes out. She wanted to beat the hell out of him. He had to suffer for the pain he had caused her a few minutes ago. Trisha was scared of her own thoughts. Why did he cheat on her? What did they lack in their relationship? Apparently he was missing something, the other woman did have. Trisha had many questions and began doubting herself.

“I really mean it, Trisha. I still love you. We can work this out, can’t we? “

Trisha was now visualizing how she would punch him on the eye and how he would fall on the floor and pass out. Trisha smiled at the scene which was playing in her head.

“I am happy to see that I made you smile again” he sounded relieved. “Everything will be fine Trish. Right?”

Part 9: Are you seeing someone else?

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15
Dec
2021

Part 9: Are you seeing someone else?

Trisha’s mind wondered of to that dreadful day. The day her world fell apart.

It was seven o’clock in the evening when Karan had come home. He seemed to be distracted and distanced himself from her. For the last couple of weeks Trisha had noticed that Karan´s behaviour was quite odd.

She knew that he had been quite busy at work lately and assumed that his behaviour was due to his work. Trisha had been taking extra care of Karan since she thought that he was on the edge of getting a burn out. She had seen strong men going into a burn out, therefor she was being careful.

Worried

During dinner Trisha tried to force a conversation since she could not handle the awkward silence between them. In the past they had talked and laughed while having dinner but this had changed gradually over the last couple of weeks. She sensed that something was not right, but couldn´t put her finger on it? Was it work or something else. She studied Karan´s face and noticed the distracted look. It seemed like his mind was somewhere else.

“Is everything ok, at work Karan? I mean, is there something on your mind? I am worried about you.”

“Yes, everything is ok at work.” He sighed and pushed his plate away.

Trisha nodded and stood up to clear the table. While she was loading the dishes in the dishwasher she couldn’t stop thinking about his strange behaviour. “Would you like some chocolate cake for desert? We have some left.”

“Pff, can’t you leave me alone.” Karan snapped at her.

Trisha continued to load the dishwasher wondering what was going on with Karan. “You know you have been acting weird the last couple of weeks.” She shut the dishwasher and turned it on. “If I didn’t know you better, I would be thinking that you were seeing someone else,” she said laughing. “But I know that you are quite busy at work.”

Alarm Bells

Karan didn’t answer her. Trisha felt the room getting cold. Karan still didn’t say a word. She dried her hands and slowly turned around. All the alarm bells in her body went off. She looked at him but he didn’t look back at her, he avoided her gaze. Why wasn’t he telling her that this was not the case? That it was just work that made him cranky. That he was on the edge of a burn out and she had noticed it for which he was grateful. That he was happy to have her as his wife. That she made him happy. That he appreciated the way she took care of him. But instead he remained silent.

Her throat felt dry. “You are seeing someone else, aren’t you?” Trisha forced the words out of her mouth. At the same time trying to be calm while her legs felt wobbly. She held on to the kitchen counter, afraid that she would tumble. Instantly her stomach started to ache. Karan is cheating on you, Trisha, she said to herself.

“Yes” said Karan in a soft voice, still avoiding her gaze.

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Part 8: Why did she still cry over that scumbag?

10
Dec
2021

Part 8: Why did she still cry over that scumbag?

Trisha stood up and walked towards the window. Her modern two bedroom apartment was located on the first floor, overlooking a small park with a big pond in the middle. She strolled to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water and sat at the breakfast bar which divided the kitchen and the living room.

Why was she feeling restless. Had it something to do with Sid? Just thinking about him made her heart beat faster. What was he doing now and with whom? Trisha shook her head and decided to watch some TV to take her mind off him.

She plopped down on the couch, indecisive whether to watch ‘Say Yes To The Dress’, Netflix or a Bollywood movie. Trisha decided on the latter to lighten up her mood at which she succeeded. She was enjoying the movie until the marriage scene. Her heart stopped beating for a second. The red Indian wedding gown reminded her of her own wedding gown.

Dreams shattered

Trisha remembered her wedding day clearly. That day like many brides, she had felt as the happiest woman in the world on the most beautiful day of her life. So she had thought two years ago. But her dream was shattered abruptly. At times she still felt the pain deep inside her. How she wished for, that the sharp pain would go away forever and let her be. Just as she thought the pain disappeared it appeared, unannounced.

At one of her cousins’ wedding she had met her ex-husband. They had kept in touch via text and started dating soon after. Three years later he proposed to her on the Eifel Tower. A magical moment which took her by surprise. She had hugged and kissed him. Of course she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her soulmate.

They had a big fat Indian wedding and a small wedding reception for close family and friends. For their honeymoon they went to Mauritius where they stayed at a five star resort with a beautiful private beach. The perfect place for a newly-wed couple. She had a wonderful time, the sightseeing, the food, watching the sun go down with her soulmate on her side accompanied by a tailor made cocktail. A honeymoon as it should be, just perfect.

Lonely and sad

Trisha took a sip from her wine and looked at the woman on the television screen. She looked beautiful and immensely happy. Overwhelmed by her emotions, Trisha gulped her wine down and turned the TV off.

She stared at the book on the coffee table questioning herself whether she would pick it up. Trisha felt lonely and sad.

Come on Trisha, do not let actions of others control your feeling. You are your own boss. You have to make yourself happy. You cannot depend on others to make you happy. It was Trisha’s inner voice, trying to encourage her.

She had thought that Karan, her ex-husband had loved her deeply, just as she had loved him deeply. She refilled her glass while thinking about that dreadful day. The day she found out that their marriage bond was not a sacred bond to him. Trisha felt her eyes welling up, why did she still cry over that scumbag?

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Part 7: She refused to be a charity case

01
Dec
2021

Part 7: She refused to be a charity case

categories: Trisha's Life - Weekly Column, Uncategorized

“I am going to get another cup of coffee before I head back to the office.”

Trisha nodded, “Enjoy your coffee. I will keep in touch.”

“I will be looking forward to your call.” He scraped his throat. “You can call me anytime. Even on the weekends. But I guess you don’t work on weekends.”

“I try not to.” Trisha said with a smile.

Sid nodded. “That is something I should learn, try not to work on weekends. It messes up your private life.”

Trisha smiled “yes, it does. Well, have a nice weekend, Sid.”

Trisha walked out of the door trying to keep her face straight. A huge smile appeared on her face, an overwhelming sense of happiness overcame her. She took a deep breath and hummed a song she heard on the radio this morning.

Confused

Confused about her feelings Trisha walked to the train station, absorbed in her thoughts. Her divorce had scarred her heart deeply and therefore she had decided that this would never happen again, ever. But now she just couldn’t control her feelings.

Trisha, just remember why you named him Mr. Eye Candy. He has this impact on woman hence the name ‘Mr. Eye Candy.’ Besides he is your client. Enjoy the feeling while it lasts. This too will pass.

Home

Trisha opened her front door and greeted a neighbour who happened to pass by. She closed the door and locked it. It felt good being home. She turned the lights on and took off her heels, carefully placing them in the shoe cabinet. Sid had been on her mind off and on the entire time while she was heading back home. Should she call him and tell him that she couldn’t get hold of the candidate? She decided against it. It was Friday evening after all.

What would he be doing now? Having a romantic date with a beautiful female? Trisha felt a knot in her stomach. The thought alone made her feel jealous.

Trisha, get a hold of yourself, you act like a jealous teenager, she said in a loud voice.

Trisha walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She had changed into a pair of yoga pants. It was time to unwind after a long week.

She sat down on her couch and took a sip from her wine with closed eyes. This was not how she had imagined her life a couple of years ago, far from this.

Trisha had no siblings. She did not miss having them. Her friends and cousins were married or in a relationship. They had lives of their own and she didn’t want to intrude. She texted with them and every so often they planned something together.

When she was not working, she was home on her couch, reading or watching television. Her life wasn’t as glamorous as all of her friends and family thought it was. But she let them believe it was, she didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She refused to be a charity case.

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